You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
they need to just BURY HIM!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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