She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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