Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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