Pappa wants mamma naked
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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