Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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