420 ftw
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
