My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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