We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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