need another drink. this is the easiest way
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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