You work out of a Hotel?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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