D3 body, D1 cock
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
