I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
