It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
