So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
