what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
two words: eviction party
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
