I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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