Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
