Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
