Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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