Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
