its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i barfeds in our rink
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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