Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
