This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
