life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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