why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
