Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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