It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
