Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
