it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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