We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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