I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
