and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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