All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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