Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
