oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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