thus making me awesome and them whores
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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