So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My apartment stinks of burning failure
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
