when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
No subtext here. People are naked.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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