He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
