belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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