Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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