I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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