The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
