Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
