A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
