Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
