i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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