Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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