Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
