we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
